For the first time in maybe 3 years I can sleep through the night. My sleep has been deep, and I have been wading in the waters of what hasn’t been said. I’m at the edge and trying to take a gander, look even deeper into the pool of what is asking to be seen.
Some dreams I’ve had lately:
The first is that Im outside looking up at an apartment building, I know it’s the place that I live. I watch as flames make their way up around the base of the building, climbing up into the windows of where I live. I run up, I am absolutely panicked, I open the door and am expecting to be devastated, I can so viscerally feel the fear. The door opens, the apartment is bare and there is no flame, no whiff of smoke to be found.
The second one— I’m standing outside, I’m looking at a big corral placed in the flat ground of a wide and open space. There are several bulls in it, I cant make out details but I know they’re there. The sun is out, and it’s hot. I can feel the sweat beading underneath the brim of my hat, I turn away and look behind me and try to remember if there were mountains there once, I feel like there had to have been mountains there at some point. Where are they? When I return my gaze back to the bull pen, I am frozen in fear. Bulls are somehow squeezing through the spaces in the iron gate. They’re knocking down the metal posts, they’re running out. I watch them run and I am stuck in place, they’re getting closer and closer and I am standing still. I am looking right out at them, they get closer and they stop. I stare at one dead in the eyes, the dust starts to fall from their stampede, I wake up.
The third is one that comes exactly one month before we move out of Los Angeles,
Snow on the mountains, palm trees swaying heavily unable to stand against the wind. Earlier in the week it hailed for 15 minutes straight, earlier today it snowed in Atwater Village.
Wondering what dreams will come tonight, I’ll try to reason with myself and write them down but we’ll see